"All Americans do is drink."

A while back, I ran into a lady from Southern Asia that made this comment regarding the American office and weekend entertainment.

"I don't understand it, all Americans do is drink. Why can't they just have a good time?"

I'm not a big drinker (aside from some occasional wines and sake), so I could definitely see where she was coming from. It's a difficult aspect of the culture to navigate if you choose not to drink for personal reasons, and even harder if you don't because of religious ones.

With the recent rise of "icing" in the office environment, the trend doesn't seem to be changing. It's possible to just ignore it and excuse yourself from parties and gatherings after work, but then you risk being labeled the "weird one" in the office and missing out on valuable networking opportunities.

Solution:
Since I do drink, but not heavily, I get my one glass of wine and stretch it out to last me as long as possible. A glass can get me through an hour, so if I'm only spending a few out, two at most will get me through a night. If you don't drink at all, try ordering a club soda with a lime wedge...add in some juice if you like and sip it slowly. Your primary goal is to avoid questions about why you're not drinking. I never lie about this, but I do my best to avoid them. Just remember, as long as you keep your hands full, you should be fine.

What is it with Americans and Sex?

It’s said that Americans are obsessed with sex. I’d say that’s a fair charge. Whether it be having it, or not having it, it seems to always be on our minds, televisions and computers.

A few weeks ago, my newest speaking partner was going through words she was having trouble pronouncing. Crocodile…rehearsal…masturbation. She was immediately warned by others at the table not to use that last one in daily conversation.

She was just going through words she’d heard on television, and assumed they were all suitable for general conversation. That reveals something confusing about American media. In some countries, the media clearly reflects national standards of behavior. That’s true to a certain extent here, but much less so than a few others. In general, it’s just not the best place to learn about social mores (or even proper English for that matter).

Solution: There’s a saying that you shouldn’t discuss religion and politics in “polite conversation”. I’d throw sex into that mix too. You never know where people stand, even about discussing it. That’s not to say it can’t or shouldn’t be discussed, but if you don’t want to risk offending someone, it’s best to follow their lead…and that can be tricky to find.

Do you follow basketball? (Sports culture in the US)

This is a question that was recently asked at my office of one of our new (non-American) IT people. The answer was "no". The lady that was asking was making an effort to make small talk over the recent Lebron James hullaballoo. Needless to say, the bonding stopped there.

I’m not a big sports fan myself and frequently find myself in the same position, mostly because American sports are so varied. Even if you focus only on the “big three” of basketball, baseball and football, you’re looking at hundreds of teams and thousands of players to keep up with.

Thankfully, since our sports scene has become almost as "celebri-tized" as our entertainment industry, it’s only really necessary to keep up with major players and happenings.

Solution: Once or twice a week, go to a major new site (CNN, MSN, Fox, Yahoo, whatever) click on the sports tab and skim the title, first paragraph and last of three to four articles. It won’t take more than ten minutes, but will at the very least allow you to participate in discussions in the world of sports, even if only through asking intelligent questions (which sports fans seem to love even more than the sports themselves).

What is this?

I make heavy use of the speaking partner relationship in my pursuit of linguistic fluency. Between that and the friendships I’ve made with international students in my education, I’ve noticed that despite all the international student departments and counseling centers and HR seminars, there is little to help people…students, workers, whomever…with those odd little questions and situations that come up about American life on a day to day basis. I hope this blog can help bridge that gap.